Chocolate Milk Spy Camera





The Chocolate Milk Spy Camera is a sophisticated photographic device.
It has double exposure prevention which is a good thing if you can't remember
of you already took a picture of the secret plans.

It has a built in-retractable lens cover that slides out of the way when you trip the shutter.
The cover keeps chocolate milk off the lens and hides it while you're
slipping around The Kremlin.

The shutter is very quiet. A must for espionage activities but the rewind system sounds like
a ratchet wrench. Always rewind in a safe place.

Design problems become apparent when you attempt to use the camera in a clandestine manner.
The "straw" is the shutter button and the viewfinder is in that rectangle above the
Grade A UHT text.

I made several attempts to put the straw in my mouth while looking through the viewfinder and
I found it to be impossible.  I might be nitpicking but you'd think that the straw would
turn brown when you suck on it. It doesn't. That little detail could put you in a
Soviet prison for a long time.

The big white dot in the middle of the camera (see first picture) is another oversight, I think. In
my opinion it should be chocolate brown. When you go to all the trouble of designing
a retractable, synchronized lens cap you should spend the extra money and paint it brown.

I found no Vitamin A or D, either.



Slightly heavy on the calories.





I thought it tasted a little funny.

You can turn the camera off so you don't take a picture of the inside of your pocket.
Twisting the straw in the direction shown turns the camera on.

"Why are you twiting your straw, comrade ?"

"Oh ! it's just a nervous habit, Boris." "How are Natsha and the kids ?"

. . . - - - . . .



While walking in the woods I saw this doe from a distance. I took out my Chocolate Milk Spy Camera
and shoved the shutter release in my mouth.
I got within fifteen feet of the animal, brought the camera up to eye level and took the above photo.

A split second later the deer bounded away. I'm sure she was embarassed at being duped
by the fake milk container.



The deer on the left is the deer in first deer photo. As she passed the deer on the right, she tipped him off about the Chocolate Milk
Spy Camera. If you look closely, you can pick out six deer in this photo.



Lookout Tower on Quabbin Mountain
















Assignment complete. I live to spy another day.


Arista homogenized 200 film.